Jim Taylor, PhD asks, Are you raising a human being or a human doing?
Having internalized their perceptions of being a human doing from their parents, children come to love themselves only when they are successful and experience nothing less than self-loathing when they fail.
Meanwhile, back in 2007, Po Bronson sounded the alarm about the inverse power of praise. (The article later became a book, NurtureShock.) In a line:
Giving kids the label of “smart” does not prevent them from underperforming. It might actually be causing it.
Which, taken together, sort of synch up. Sort of. In another line: Parenting is confusing. If you’re struggling with it, you’re not alone.