Couples Therapy
About.com helpfully rounds up the wisdom about couples therapy in Does Couples Counseling Work? and Benefits of Marriage Counseling.
There are people who stay in an unhappy marriage until the resentment builds and they feel they have no choice but to divorce. They don’t voice their unhappiness, they go with the flow hoping something will change and the problems will be instantly solved. Then there are those who “try” with everything they have to make the marriage work before they leave. These people are problem solvers who feel they owe it to the marriage to try to find solutions to the problems before they throw in the towel.
The one thing both have in common is that they rarely go to marriage counseling.
Looking for couples therapy in L.A.? Call or write to discuss what you’re going through and arrange an appointment: (323) 610-0112.
Being a Baby
Jonah Lehrer asks What’s it Like to Be a Baby?
[B]abies don’t have a spotlight of attention: They have a lantern. If attention is like a focused beam in adults, then it’s more like a glowing bulb in babies, casting a diffuse radiance across the world. This crucial difference in attention has been demonstrated indirectly in a variety of experiments. For instance, when preschoolers are shown a photograph of someone – let’s call her Jane— looking at a picture, and asked questions about what Jane is paying attention to, the weirdness of their attention becomes clear. Not surprisingly, the kids agree that Jane is thinking about the picture she’s staring at. But they also insist that she’s thinking about the picture frame, and the wall behind the picture, and the chair lurking in her peripheral vision. In other words, they believe that Jane is attending to whatever she can see
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How Not to Choke
Science Daily reports about a psychologist’s research into how and why people choke under pressure.
“My research team and I have found that highly skilled golfers are more likely to hole a simple 3-foot putt when we give them the tools to stop analyzing their shot, to stop thinking,” Beilock said. “Highly practiced putts run better when you don’t try to control every aspect of performance.” Even a simple trick of singing helps prevent portions of the brain that might interfere with performance from taking over, Beilock’s research shows.
The Apology Gap
Scientific American relays research that finds a reason that may explain why Women Apologize More Frequently Than Men:
Researchers analyzed the number of self-reported offences and apologies made by 66 subjects over a 12-day period. And yes, they confirmed women consistently apologized more times than men did. But they also found that women report more offenses than men. So the issue is not female over-apology. Instead, there may be a gender difference in what is considered offensive in the first place.
In Praise of Slowness (TED)
In Praise of Slowness author, Carl Honore, at TED way back in 2005:
Anger and Pain
WebMD reports on a new study: Anger Increases Pain in Women. Treatment–in this case CBT–shown to help.
Treatment effects were significant, showing positive differences in pain, fatigue, and functional disability, and in anxiety and negative mood, the researchers say. “Our results demonstrate that offering high-risk [fibromyalgia] patients a treatment tailored to their cognitive behavioral patterns at an early stage after the diagnosis is effective in improving both short- and long-term physical and psychological outcomes,”
It Gets Better
It Gets Better, a Dan Savage-led response to the recent suicide of a bullied gay teen.
Nine out of 10 gay teenagers experience bullying and harassment at school, and gay teens are four times likelier to attempt suicide. Many LGBT kids who do kill themselves live in rural areas, exurbs, and suburban areas, places with no gay organizations or services for queer kids…I wish I could have talked to this kid for five minutes. I wish I could have told Billy that it gets better. I wish I could have told him that, however bad things were, however isolated and alone he was, it gets better.
But gay adults aren’t allowed to talk to these kids. Schools and churches don’t bring us in to talk to teenagers who are being bullied. Many of these kids have homophobic parents who believe that they can prevent their gay children from growing up to be gay—or from ever coming out—by depriving them of information, resources, and positive role models.
Why are we waiting for permission to talk to these kids? We have the ability to talk directly to them right now. We don’t have to wait for permission to let them know that it gets better. We can reach these kids.
So here’s what you can do, GBVWS: Make a video. Tell them it gets better.
I’ve launched a channel on YouTube—www .youtube.com/itgetsbetterproject—to host these videos. My normally camera-shy husband and I already posted one.
Here it is:
Massage Study
Getting a massage does more than put your muscles at ease.
[Recent research has f]ound that a single session of massage caused biological changes. Volunteers who received Swedish massage experienced significant decreases in levels of the stress hormone cortisol in blood and saliva, and in arginine vasopressin, a hormone that can lead to increases in cortisol. They also had increases in the number of lymphocytes, white blood cells that are part of the immune system.
About Depression
An infopage from the New York Times all about depression. Symptoms, causes, treatment.
Depression may be described as feeling sad, blue, unhappy, miserable, or down in the dumps. Most of us feel this way at one time or another for short periods. True clinical depression is a mood disorder in which feelings of sadness, loss, anger, or frustration interfere with everyday life for an extended period of time…
The NYT’s Health Guide index is here.
Cyber Bullying and Depression
CFAH: In Cyber Bullying, Depression Hits Victims Hardest
Young victims of electronic or cyber bullying – which occurs online or by cell phone – are more likely to suffer from depression than their tormentors are, a new study finds. Traditional bullying, the kind that occurs in the school building or face-to-face, is different. Victims and bully-victims – those who both dish it out and take it – are more likely to suffer from depression than are those who are bullies, but not victims.